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|A_HOLE.WAV||Dr. Evil: [CLICK] "Oww...you shot me you a-hole!" [CLICK]||15.1kb|
|ATEABABY.WAV||Fat Bastard: "I ate a baby! Oh aye...baby: the other OTHER white meat! Baby: it's what's for dinner!"||25kb|
|BABYRIBS.WAV||Fat Bastard singing Chili's "I Want My Baby Back Ribs."||33.6kb|
|BADTHING.WAV||Austin: "Smashing, baby. Then we can track down Fat Bastard, get my mojo, go back to my place, hop on the good foot and do the bad thing."||19.6kb|
|BAGCHIPS.WAV||Dr. Evil: "You ain't all that and a bag of potato chips."||6.75kb|
|BIGBOY.WAV||Dr. Evil: " Scott...daddy's working, okay? And when you're in the main chamber try and use the big boy voice, okay? Thank you."||23kb|
|BIGDOPE.WAV||Dr. Evil: "As you know;
every diabolical scheme that I have hatched has been thwarted by Austin
Powers. And why is that ladies and gentlemen?"
Scott: "Cause you never kill him when you get the chance to, and you're a big dope."
|CHAIR.WAV||Dr. Evil: "All I asked for was a frickin' rotating chair, okay? Whoa, okay. Okay, okay, okay...getting a little afraid. I need an old priest and a young priest. The power of Christ compels you! The power of Christ compels you!..."||77.3kb|
Ivana: "When did you get the clapper?"
Austin: "November, 1964...Dutch East Indies...shore leave."
|CLONED.WAV||Number Two: "Dr. Evil,
while you were frozen, we began a program to clone you."
Dr. Evil: "Cool."
Frau: "Send in the CLONE!"
Number Two: He is exactly like you in every way...except one-eighth your size."
coffee smells like shit!"
Basil: "It IS shit, Austin!"
Austin: "Oh good, then it's not just me. [SIP, PAUSE] It's a bit nutty."
|CORNCRAP.WAV||Fat Bastard: "Jesus Christ, he's tiny! I've had bigger chunks of corn in my crap!"||19.6kb|
|CRAPDECK.WAV||Fat Bastard: "I've got a crap on deck that could choke a donkey. Oh...it's squinchy!"||18.6kb|
|CROSEYED.WAV||Austin: "Wait a tick. Basil, if I traveled back to 1969 and I was frozen in 1967, presumably, I could go visit my frozen self. But, if I'm still frozen in 1967, how could I have been unthawed in the nineties and traveled back to...oh no, I've gone cross-eyed."||39.5kb|
|CRZYMOFO.WAV||Dr. Evil: "Don't mess with me. I'm one crazy mo'fo. I had to pop a cop 'cause he wasn't givin' me my 'props in Oaktown. No? I heard that somewhere."||21.2kb|
|DEADSEXY.WAV||Fat Bastard: "I'm rich and I'm dead sexy!" [VARIOUS MOANS AND GROANS]||28.3kb|
|DETHSTAR.WAV||Dr. Evil: "You see,
I've turned the moon into what I like to call: a 'Death Star."
Dr. Evil: "What?"
Scott: "Naw, nuthin', Darth."
Dr. Evil: "What did you call me?"
Scott: "Naw, nuthin'...RIP OFF!"
Dr. Evil: "Bless you."
|DICK.WAV||All about a huge...rocket.||106kb|
|DIETEVIL.WAV||Dr. Evil: "You're quasi-evil.You're semi-evil. You're the margarine of evil. You're the Diet Coke of evil. Just one calorie, not evil enough."||27.5kb|
|EATMINI.WAV||Fat Bastard: "Wait a minute...he kinda looks like a baby. C'mere, I'm gonna eat ya! I'm bigger than you. I'm higher on the food chain! Get in my belly...c'mon!"||43.3kb|
|EVILCHRM.WAV||Dr. Evil: "Charming."||3.44kb|
|EVILLAFF.WAV||The Dr.Evil laugh.||34.4kb|
|EVILRITE.WAV||Dr. Evil: "Right..."||4.97kb|
|FATBSTRD.WAV||Dr. Evil: "He's a disgruntled Scottish guard known for his lethal temper and his unusual eating habits. He weighs a metric ton. His name: Fat Bastard."||27kb|
|FBFARTED.WAV||Fat Bastard: [FLATULENCE] "Sorry...I farted."||17.6kb|
|FBUNHAPY.WAV||Felicity: "You didn't
answer my question...are you happy?"
Fat Bastard: "Course I'm no happy! Look at me, I'm a big fat slob! I've got bigger titties than you do! I've got more chins than a Chinese phone book! I've not seen my willy in two years, which is long enough to declare legally dead!"
my God! Vanessa, you're a Fembot!"
Vanessa (Fembot): "No shit, Sherlock."
|FLOATER.WAV||Austin: "Oh my God! Fat Bastard left a floater!"||12.5kb|
|GETUAP.WAV||Dr. Evil: "I'm gonna get you, Austin Powers. I'm gonna get you! [DR. EVIL AND MINI-ME IN UNISON] MUHAHAHA, MUHAHAHAH, MUHAHAHA!"||29.3kb|
|GIRLFRND.WAV||Dr. Evil: "Don't go there, girlfriend...[FINGER SNAP] mmhmm."||7.25kb|
|GONNACRY.WAV||Dr. Evil: "Huh, you wanna be daddy, is that it? Number Two, you wanna wear the daddy pants? Huh, you gonna cry...?||49.1kb|
|GRRBABY.WAV||Austin: "Grrr, baby! Very grr!"||7.51kb|
|HUMPLAZR.WAV||Dr. Evil: "Mini-Me, heh, stop humping the laser, heh heh. Okay, honest to God. Why don't you and the giant laser get a frickin' room for Godsakes."||27.5kb|
|HUNGRY.WAV||Dr. Evil: "Mini-Me, are you hungry? Something to eat? Not even a Hot Pocket? An Eggo? No, no, we don't gnaw on our kitty. Leave min-noo...leave Mini-Mr. Bigglesworth alone. Just love him...stroke him."||24.7kb|
|IDIOT.WAV||Scott: "You're an idiot."||3.19kb|
|INEPT.WAV||Scott: "Great plan, Einstein. Well you're gonna put in a cell with one inept guard and they'll escape! God, you do this every time!"||25kb|
|IVANA.WAV||Austin: "Who are you,
Ivana: "Ivana, Ivana Humpalot."
Austin: "S'cuse me?"
Ivana: "Ivana Humpalot."
Austin: "And I want a toilet made out of solid gold but its just not in the cards now, is it?"
|JERRY1.WAV||Jerry Springer: "If you just joined us, today's topic is: 'My Father Is Evil And He Wants To Take Over The World."||16.3kb|
|JERRY2.WAV||Jerry Springer: "Hi,
Scott, been nice to have you with us. Uh, tell us about your father."
Scott: "Um, well, my dad is the head of a worldwide evil organization with, uh, aspirations of world domination [CROWD BOOS]."
|JERRY3.WAV||Jerry Springer: "Wow,
pretty serious stuff. Where is he now?"
Scott: "Um, he's like, cryogenically frozen orbiting the Earth or somethin'."
Jerry Springer: "That's what you think. But, we have a surprise for you, Scott. Okay, let's bring out Scott's father, Dr. Evil! [CROWD BOOS]"
|JERRY4.WAV||Dr. Evil: "Hello, Scott.
Scott: "How could you do this to me...on national television?!"
Dr. Evil: "Well throw me a frickin' bone here, Scott."
|JERYFITE.WAV||Dr. Evil VS. Jerry Springer.||66.4kb|
|JUDOCHOP.WAV||Felicity: "Juudo CHOP!"
Fat Bastard: "OHHH- right in the mommy-daddy button!"
|KAMIKAZE.WAV||Dr. Evil: "Here's your wedding present, Mr. Powers; a kamikaze bride from me, Dr. Evil."||16.3kb|
|KRMASTRA.WAV||Austin: "Why don't
Austin: "Sure, baby! We're only up to chapter eleven in the Karma Sutra. Doncha wanna try the 'Wheel Barrow' or the 'Praying Donkey' or 'The Chinese Shag Swing?"
|LEGBROKN.WAV||Mustafa: "Hello up there! I seem to have fallen down a cliff. I'm still alive, but I'm very badly injured. I think my legs might be broken but I'll try to stand up...[CRACK]..."||88kb|
|LOSTMOJO.WAV||Austin: "Croikee! I've lost my mojo!"||15.6kb|
|LOWER.WAV||Austin: "How does that
Felicity: "Mmm, lower."
Austin: [IN DEEP VOICE] "How does that feel, baby?"
|MACHNGUN.WAV||Austin: "Machine gun jubblies! How did I miss those, baby?"||11.3kb|
|MCGUIRE.WAV||Dr. Evil: "Show me
The President: "Show you what money?"
Dr. Evil: "Show me the money, show me the money! You had me at hello...tear...nothing?"
Scott: "It's 1969. Jerry McGuire won't even come out for another thirty years. Nobody knows what you're talking about...ass."
|MINIME.WAV||Dr. Evil: "I shall call him 'Mini-Me."||26kb|
|MOJO.WAV||Dr. Evil: "Austin Powers
always defeats me because he has...Mojo."
Number Two: "Mojo?"
Dr. Evil: "Mojo. The libido, the life-force, the essence, the right stuff. What the French call a certain...'I Don't Know What."
|MYIMAGE.WAV||Dr. Evil: "I already had someone created in my image. He's evil, he wants to take over the world and he fits easily into most overhead storage bins."||21.7kb|
|NOSCOTT.WAV||Scott: "If you have
a time machine, why don't you just go back and kill Austin Powers while
he's sitting on the crapper or something?"
Dr. Evil: "How about NO, Scott, okay?"
|PARSONS.WAV||Dr. Evil: "Anyways, the key to this plan is the giant laser. It was invented by the noted Cambridge physicist; Dr. Parsons, therefore we shall call it the 'Alan Parsons Project..."||69.4kb|
|PENIS.WAV||More about that giant...rocket.||125kb|
|RANDY.WAV||Austin: "Do I make you horny, baby. Do I? Do I make you randy?! Yeah?||20.3kb|
|REALLAZR.WAV||Dr. Evil: "Well actually that was just footage from the move 'Independence Day.' But the real laser would be a lot like that...yeah...scary."||23.5kb|
|ROADKILL.WAV||Scott: "Dad, he put
this in my bed!"
Dr. Evil: "Who?"
Scott: "Your stupid...Mini-You! He put roadkill in my sheets!"
|SEXYCRAP.WAV||Fat Bastard: "Oh is that all the thanks I get for the night of hot sex? I'm dead sexy. You were crap!"||23kb|
|SEXYMAN.WAV||Fat Bastard: "Well surprise, surprise, huh?! Look at that now, huh? I'm dead sexy! Look at my sexy body. Oh yeah, oh look at, I'm like a singer. [SINGING TO THE TUNE OF THE ORGINAL 'SPIDERMAN' THEME SONG] 'Sexy man, sexy man! Eating like a sexy man can!"||50.1kb|
|SHDOTCOM.WAV||Dr. Evil: "WWW, shh, dot com, dot org."||19.9kb|
|SMOKESEX.WAV||Vanessa: "Do you smoke
Austin: "I dunno, baby, I never looked."
|SWALLOWS.WAV||Robin Swallows: "My
name is Robin Swallows."
Austin: "Swallows...that's an interesting name."
Robin Swallows: "Maiden name; 'Spitz."
|SWINGER.WAV||Robin Swallows: "Tell
me, Mr. Powers, do you swing?"
Austin: "Are you kidding, baby? I put the 'GRR' in swinger, baby!"
|SXYBITCH.WAV||Austin: "Can I borrow that, please? [SHOOTING PHOTOS] Thank you. Yes, Austin, yes, yes. Look at me, I'm a sexy bitch, baby, yeah. You're a popsicle, yes. NO, NO! Huh huh huh, and I'm spent."||33.4kb|
|SXYBTCH2.WAV||Austin: "I am a sexy bitch, yes."||10.5kb|
|TALKHAND.WAV||Dr. Evil: "Talk to the hand, 'cause the face don't wanna hear it anymore."||7.76kb|
|TRILLION.WAV||Dr. Evil: "Why make
trillions when we could make...billions?"
Scott: "A trillion is more than a billion, numbnuts."
|TURNEDON.WAV||Dr. Evil: "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm about to travel through time, I bid you adieu. [SLAMS INTO TIME MACHINE] *OOF!* I'm okay, I'm okay. Not turned on I suppose."||44.5kb|
|TURTLHED.WAV||Fat Bastard: "First thing's first! Where's your shitter? I've got a turtle head pokin' out."||17.1kb|
|UNIBRAU.WAV||Frau: "I have come to embrace the love that dare not speak it's name. To my right is my lover. We met at the LPGA tour. Her name is Unibrau."||26kb|
|URFATHER.WAV||Dr. Evil: "Austin...I
am your father."
Dr. Evil: "No, not really. I can't back that up."
|UVHADFAT.WAV||Fat Bastard: "Listen, missy. Do you fancy another go? 'Cause once you've had fat you never go back! HAHAHA!"||21.7kb|
|WERSEXY.WAV||Austin: "Wait a tick,
who are you?"
Austin from ten minutes from now: "I'm you ten minutes from now."
Austin: "Dammit, you are handsome!"
Austin from ten minutes from now: "I was just thinking the same."
Austin: "We are sexy! We are sexy bitches, yeah!"
|ZIPIT.WAV||Probably the funniest piece of dialogue in the entire movie...Dr. Evil telling Scott to zip it.||97.3kb|
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